10 things you’ll know if you grew up on a farm

By Hannah Binns
30th April 2019

Being at home last summer made me feel nostalgic. Here are 10 things you will know if you grew up on a farm…

1.  Nothing is ever a five minute job
If they say it is then they are lying.

You’ve learned from experience that lending a ‘quick hand’ turns into a twenty minute operation followed by a list of jobs that takes you all morning to complete, making you question why you volunteered in the first place.

2. Bale twine fixes everything
Waterproof trousers too big? Bale twine belt. Setting up a temporary race? Bale twine. Lost your dog lead? Bale twine.

You’ve probably lost count of the amount of times someone has asked you for some whilst working. It has happened so often that you dream about charging. After all, it’s an essential pocket requisite that fixes almost every problem.

3.  You can’t out-run a sheep
But you can certainly try! You counted this as your daily workout as it left you out of breathe and threatening to sell the troublesome (to put it politely) ewe at auction the first chance you get.

4.  There is no such thing as being snowed-in
Snow is no longer exciting when there is a 4×4 always on hand. But you do look pretty cool rocking up to school on your dad’s tractor.

5.  Who let the ewes out?
Field gates left open becomes a Spanish Inquisition around the kitchen table. No matter how many times you proclaimed your innocence, the blame was assigned to you and dad muttering ‘next time I’ll do the job myself’.

6.  Days off always coincide with bad weather
Booking planned events and actually going is something of a novelty to you. Especially in summer when you are constantly on call for seasonal jobs.

Friends know from experience that you will be missing in action once the weather forecast improves as you’ll be either in the shearing shed or driving a tractor – whether you want to or not. After all, farming comes first in your household.

7.  What’s a lie-in?
Certainly something that doesn’t happen in your household with your parents considering any time after 8.30am a lie-in. And the horror (and slight envy) when university friends text you at 4pm saying ‘sorry I’ve only just woken up’ whilst you have been working hard all day.

8.  Love/hate relationship with the weather man
You have developed a changeable relationship with the weather forecasts from an early age as it was the most discussed subject on the farm. TVs are often tutted at and switched off if they state unsuitable weather for proposed plans and there is an element of speculation surrounding upcoming forecasts.

You constantly play a game of who-dares-wins and it is typical for it to rain once you have grass down. But no matter how many times you troll the internet in search of a more favourable weather report it always stays the same – or sometimes gets worse! You just learn to get on with it.

9.  Smartphone…but no signal
You have spent years searching for a certain spot in the shed where there is enough signal to send a text. In fact you have perfected the Lion King scene, holding the phone up high and hoping it sends.

Yet dodgy signal still plagues your rural life and internet is a rarity. People who send Snapchats/Instagram posts from the lambing shed simply amaze you.

10.  Fine dining equals a trip to the local auction
You are more than happy to accompany your dad to the auction and stand around a cold ring looking at livestock just for those auction lunches. You develop a favouritism towards a certain auction mart cafe and believe they are second best to your mum’s roast dinner.

Those are my top ten things – if you have any please let me know below!